ONE YEAR...holy guacamole!

I've thought a lot about this date for months...knowing it was coming closer. I've cried about it (and everything else under the moon) for weeks dreading it. I thought I would be a mess, but I have only one word to say...

HALLELUJAH!

Wow! I'm so happy today...this time one year ago, I had already fallen. I was probably receiving the news from an ED doc that my riding career was over. In my mind, one year ago, my life was over. Now, with hindsight being 20/20, I'm so thankful for that painful day.

I've worried. Oh, how I've fretted and struggled! It's been hard, but the Lord does not promise life to be easy. His Word says "THERE WILL BE TRIBULATION AND TRIALS!", in other versions it translates, "You will have many trials and sorrows!" John 16:33. That means that this accident was never any surprise to our Lord...it didn't just pop up on Him and take His breath away. He knew it would happen and He tells us that life isn't going to be candy and popcorn....we WILL struggle and that I have. Read my other blogs if you want to go into that, but today, I celebrate.

I celebrate the other part of this verse: "I have told you these things so you may have PEACE (rest!); in this life you WILL have trials and tribulation, but be courageous (take heart...cheer up...have confidence) for I have OVERCOME the world!" John 16:33....My old band director wrote this in my year book one year and it's been my favorite verse ever since simply because it is so true...The Lord is true to His promises because He is victorious. He rules this world and is in the midst of even the worst of struggles. He promises in Romans 8:28 to "work all things for the good of those who love Him." Oh Lord, Oh Lord, you have not forsaken me....

My life-physically and sometimes emotionally painful as it may be and has been- is better off for that fateful day of March 4, 2011 and every day afterwards. My marriage is 20 times what it would have been and I'm sure of that- My husband went through this with me every step of the way and I'm certain is the most patient man on the face of the earth...the RESPECT and love I have for him now has no words. It has been a DIFFICULT year and half of marriage (even without the broken back!) and I've had many seasoned married couples say that most wouldn't have made it...I don't have the longevity to know if that's true or not, but one thing I do know is that I have the most amazing best friend. husband. protector. in the world and he was crafted especially for me.

My relationship with the Lord is stronger than it was prior...Swayze has his rightful place in the family (BEHIND my husband)....I'm more appreciate of the love my amazing parents have for me...I'm aware of MANY my flaws and self esteem issues and have sought the proper help to navigate them...I have found out who my true friends are and are NOT...I could go on and on...

Swayze is in a much better place too...I had many people tell me to sell him or ask why I didn't put him down. It was never an option. Not only is he in a much better place physically, but we could not ask for a better barn and barn family to have supported us during this time. We were introduced to the wonderful world of groundwork and I now don't know how people can stand their horses without doing it! Ha! He is a pleasure (most times) and I attribute that to the groundwork that Scarlett introduced me to when I was still in my brace (She must have known I needed it physically and emotionally as much as Swayze did!)...it was probably something I would have looked over had I had the ability to ride. It was something I could physically do with Swayze in my own fragile physical state and wow- I have a different horse and my relationship with him is something that I can't explain...Beryl Markham says it best, "A lovely horse is always an experience. It is an emotional experience of the kind that is spoiled by words."

I'm so thankful for, not only my physical safety of what "could have been", but for what this past year has given me. There are many to thank for that....my Travo, my amazing parents, Scarlett and Bruce Mullin (the entire HMF family- Sally, Katie, Linds x 2, Kara, Tanja, Ashley, Jan, Josh!), Alex Tripken, Alexis Gragg, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY COWORKERS! (could not have done this without my PICU support system!), Alma Watson, Kathy and Mike Sink, Cynthia and James Fussell, The Lineberger family, many friends and family who prayed for my consistently...none of this would have been possible if it wasn't for all of you, and more than I'm sure my meds are making me skip my mind!

I love you all and CHEERS to a year that I consider a blessing and success.