This is going to be a little bit of a free flowing post…I have so many topics I WANT to write about (ex: forgiveness (haven't forgotten ya, Nancy!), marriage, friendship, etc), but the only things on my mind are these lyrics:
"Nothing's gonna hold me back. No, nothing's gonna hold me back! Nothing's gonna hold me back!
My chains fell off, my heart was free! I'm alive to live for you! I'm alive to live for you!! Amazing love, how can it be?! You give everything for me! You give everything for me….everything."- Holding Nothing Back by Tim Hughes (can watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i1JMkWTzq0 right here!)
My heart is REJOICING today! I have no other reason than I'm alive and I can see the beauty of Christ in my life! As Beth Moore would say…my heart feels like it will thump out of my chest. I'm truly living JOY!
I truly believe that for most of the time that I've been out of work and wading through all this insurance mess, I've felt pretty sorry for myself. I would go in and out of the saying, "Oh, I know God has a plan and it will all be fine", but my life did not show those words. I didn't say those words with JOY! Now I want to SHOUT- "MY INJURY AND DISABILITY HAS A PURPOSE ORDAINED BY THE LORD!!!! HE WILL RECEIVE GLORY!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!" I walk with more of a skip in my step, I'm less worried about the measly amount of money disability provides, and I'm just more JOYFUL….and it's because of a God who is merciful and GOOD. Always.
So what's the change huh? When did depresso Liz get back to her espresso self? (That was pretty good, wasn't it?) It's when I was reading one of my homework lessons for my bible study I'm a part of. We were reading the story when Peter and Saul are preaching in a town and get thrown into prison for ordering a demon out of a possessed girl. As they sat in prison (this must be where the saying, "good friends don't bail you out of jail, they're in there with you'' came from) they didn't mope about their situation. They had also be beaten the crap out of and I'm sure they were scared they could very possibly die in there. BUT! Instead of clambering in a corner, they start singing and praying! The other prisoners listened as Peter and Saul WORSHIPED and it became a time of true fellowship! God responded with a massive earthquake that crumbled the jail to pieces….instead of fleeing- like most would do if in that tough of a spot- they stayed! The jailer came running through the rubble screaming, "Where is everyone?!?!" and Peter said, "Don't worry! No one is gone! We're all still right here!". At that moment the jailer fell to his knees and asked Peter and Saul what he had to do to 'have what they have'…to know this Christ Jesus they spoke of. The next day, the jailer and his entire family were baptized and Peter and Saul were set free…..
Great story..but a story is only that unless you put it to application. For me, I saw it as- why am I struggling to get out of this prison?? Why am I so desperately trying to flee when I have NO IDEA what God has around the corner for me?!?!? What if He keeps me here 15 more years, but the Glory He receives from it changes the world?!? Instead of fleeing- let me PRAISE Him! He actually COMMANDS us to praise Him through trials for that is where He is made strong! It's where we can sing of His goodness and holiness for getting us through! Ever since then I've made a larger effort to truly rejoice in the Lord and my situation and not have so many ants in my pants because it's taking so long. One thing is FOR CERTAIN- God keeps His promises and I cannot wait for the day that my story might possibly be something that brings someone into His kingdom for eternity. What more could anyone ask for?
Isn't that what we want from our lives? Not just a part of our life, but our entire livelihoods? It's what I want from mine. I think the Sidewalk Prophets say it best in their song 'Live Like That'…I'll leave you with the lyrics and hopefully one day I will actually write a blog at a decent hour during the day ;)
"Sometimes I think what will people say of me when I'm only just a memory; When I'm home where my soul belongs.
Was I love when no one else would show up? Was I Jesus to the least of us? Was my worship more than just a song?
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You!
If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back. I want to live like that. I want to live like that!
Am I proof that You are who You say You are? That grace can really change a heart? Do I live like Your love is true?
People pass, and even if they don't know my name, is there evidence that I've been changed? When they see me do they see You?……
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You! If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back…I want to live like that!
I want to show the world the love You gave for me; I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King.
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You! If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back…I want to live like that!….I want to live like that…..I want to live like that."- Sidewalk Prophets
