Some of you may be reading this wondering- "Woah, I thought she made this private and I definitely didn't send her my email address so why the heck can I get to the blog?"…Well, I've made a defiant choice to keep my blog public. You see, even though I had an incredible response to some of my other postings, I also had many REJECTIONS to those postings. I had people very close to me practically demand that I make my blog private or take it down. They were rejecting my feelings…rejecting my writings…rejecting these things that I had felt it on my heart to pour out. They were rejecting ME. It left me feeling vacant…not good enough…like I was just spit out!
I can't take credit for all I am about to write. I'm in the middle of a Beth Moore bible study that I was invited to by Jennifer Craven and it's regarding the fruits of the Spirit. After studying love, and what true agape love means, Beth focuses on rejection. In her words, every time you try to love you will ALWAYS risk rejection. This could be applied to a relationship, but for this particular circumstance, it was following my heart and what the Lord put before me (For God IS love)…I felt that I was called to bare my soul and in turn, I was able to love on people and they were able to love on me back. But, there again, I had some that rejected what I said and told me that it wasn't anyone else's business and I shouldn't be putting myself out there like that. For a long time, I wrestled with the rejection I was hearing vs. all the people that LOVED reading my truths. The ones that knew they weren't alone. The ones that were able to take hold of their own lives and be themselves for the first time! All these amazing stories vs. a couple of rejections….well crap! What do I do with that especially when those rejections wounded my heart...
Last night in Bible study it hit me. Because I feel like I have an anointing to speak to peoples hearts, I am accepting the rejection, because who those people really are rejecting isn't me, it's Christ Himself. I am choosing to follow and obey what I feel called to do. Sometimes that means digging into things that aren't very pretty and they're uncomfortable and they're taboo- but hiding in the darkness doesn't allow life to enter. And if I have people pitying me for things I've gone through, then by all means- go on with yourself. In my weakness, HE is made strong. For every struggle, He will be glorified! VICTORY has already been claimed and that is not going to change by a silly little blog….it was claimed when Jesus died on the cross for ALL of our baggage. I'm just simply saying 'yes'! Lord- here are my pitfalls…I repent and I claim the forgiveness and healing You so freely give! I invite rejection because that means that I've been trying to love and follow the will of God, but no longer will I allow rejection to determine my footsteps.
