How Are You?

First, let me just say this- I cannot for the life of me figure out how to center the picture on the top of this page. Much less have a super cute background and fun buttons, clips, and such. A blogger expert, I am not...obvi. If anyone wants to come give me a tutorial, I'll make you a margarita because Google and the FAQ's just confuse me and drive me to drink.

I remember being in college and contemplating the subject I'm about to write about. When I was trying to take a nap today, it popped back up in my head and I felt like emptying my chest of it.

How many times per day do you have this interlude with others...

"Hi! How are you?!"

"Fine and you?"

"Doing okay!"

You can substitute "fine" with good, alright, and many other generic adjectives that we use to make this intro go by faster and get to the core of whatever we may be doing. I probably go through this mundane routine 1460845 bazillion times in the course of a 24 hour period and the answer is always the same, "fine". Let's get real- rarely are we ever just fine. Or at least I'm not. I could be a number of emotions ranging from devastated to elated, but who has the time to listen? Who really wants to know? Why do we ask this question if we're not prepared to give or receive the true answer?

Behind every face you exchange this dialogue with is a story that you're not aware of. There is hurt, there is trial, there is pain, there is joy, there is sadness, there is struggle. Life is multifaceted which is what makes it so beautiful, but it's also what makes it so complicated and sometimes quite difficult to navigate. I know for me, there probably has not been a single time in the past 6 months that I've just been "fine"...that word simply does not come close to the wide array of extreme feelings that I've felt. But who would know? We all wear masks of some sort to hide the messes in our lives...I'm guilty! I'll admit it! Wouldn't it be nice to not have that barrier? To be an open book and not feel burdensome when someone asks that introductory question and you could be honest? I think we live in a society where we are so self-absorbed that we don't want others to see our mess and we don't want to make time for other people's messes. Now this is a very generalized statement and I'm not saying that there aren't exceptions, but for the most part, our actions scream this very thing! How sad...this is not the person I want to be, nor the person that God has called me to be. I desperately want to have a servant's heart and this seemingly little conversation is a huge symptom of where my heart truly is. Shabam! God sucker punch to the face...

I'm going to try and do 2 things.

1) From now on, whenever I ask "How are you" I'm going to make sure I have the time to hear that person out. I'm going to dig deeper and push the envelope of "fine"...I desperately want to be a person of comfort and encouragement for others, but I cannot do that if I don't open my ears to listen.

2) I'm not going to use the word fine. I want to be transparent...I want to be honest...I want to be true. When you ask me how I'm doing, be prepared for the real deal. No more hiding. How can I expect others to be honest with me if I'm not doing the same?

So to end, "How am I doing this evening?"- I'm feeling very humbled by the goodness and the very spirit of Christ that exudes from every fiber of Travis. I'm so blessed to have a husband that is not only loving, caring, and devilishly handsome- but truly lays down his life for me. He makes it a JOY, and an HONOR, and PRIVILEGE to submit to his leadership in our home. Yes- I fight it sometimes out of my own selfishness, but at the end of it all, his heart is never something I have to question. Travis- I want you to know how much I respect you as a man, husband, and warrior for the Lord! I'm proud to call myself your wife!