It is my honor and unique privilege to officially shout from the rooftops that my insurance has APPROVED and AGREED to pay for my spinal fusion surgery!!! It's been a year and a half since the accident and seven months since I've been out of work this second time…basically- this has been a long time coming. It is what we have prayed for, wished and hoped, cried and bawled over….It is what I have longed for every moment of every day and even had me in the worst depression of my life because of being denied the treatment. And now- *sigh*- it's here!
Do you know what it's like to be so joyful that there are no words? That's how I feel! I feel like simply falling on my face before God and crying out in thanksgiving. I feel at peace. I feel in awe. I feel so LOVED! I truly believe this is an example of God's perfect timing. If my surgery had happened even as early as a month ago, I would not be plugged into an awesome church that I now have people that will pray for me and help me with things that I need. If it happened right when I went out of work, I would have never gotten to know Mary Kay and all the wonderful women who have brought me to a place of happiness and goal-oriented enthusiasm! If it happened before this summer, I would have never gotten into a bible study that brought me back to the heart of the Lord. Now- it is time. I am more spiritually and emotionally ready than I have ever been. I'm a strong vessel for the Lord to use….
I cannot wait to be physically humbled by surgery because I know God has an INCREDIBLE plan for my downtime. I was praying out loud today and I truly believe that He's going to show-off and do amazing things when I'm recovering. I believe He is going to use me in ridiculous ways to glorify His name! I believe He is going to renew me in so many ways that will only strengthen my testimony and my love for Him….may He use my struggle to bring others to His kingdom! He is SO good!
There are too many people to thank for their support during this entire ordeal….so I will thank you all because if you are reading this, you have either thought about me, prayed for me, or supported me in some way, shape, or form. NEVER underestimate the power of prayer! That one little prayer you said for me 6 months ago MADE a difference! BELIEVE that!!! So thank you to the village for all you are…and thanks be to my heavenly Father who loves me and only wants the best for me!!
Let's get this surgery underway so God can continue to use me in wondrous ways!
(I was going to end the blog with that last sentence, but I felt it laid on my heart that many people reading this might not believe or agree what I'm saying when I give God all the credit for what is happening in my life. If you are one of those people, I would love to talk to you about why I believe that. I don't want to force my religion down your throat or judge you for your beliefs if they're different than mine, but I DO want to share with you how I KNOW that God is real and active in my life. Please give me the honor of sharing that with you!)
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
End Domestic Violence
If you've been on my Facebook page at all in the past few days (you got here from it so scroll down a little), you've seen my posts regarding the Mary Kay Foundation. Mary Kay is giving $1 from every lip gloss sold to this foundation which not only helps provide funds for women's cancer research, but also to put an end to domestic violence. Let me write it this way….DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
Statistics are hard to get regarding how many women, children, and even men are in abusive relationships in their very own homes. It's a secretive world of fear, anxiety, depression, and anger. According to the National Census of Domestic Violence Services, 67,399 victims were reported on September 15, 2011….ONE DAY! Almost 70, 000 incidents! Who knows how many of those ended in death, or worse, how many of those victims went back to their abuser. That's where you can help make a difference. That's where you can help save lives.
This is a subject near and dear to my heart. A wonderful friend of mine, we'll call her Jenna, was in an abusive relationship for a couple of years. She came close to dying on an occasion or two because of the forceful nature of the abuse. The abuse was ALWAYS (and this is a typical response from abusers) followed by tears from her spouse and how he would never do it again. Ladies- if he hits you once, he WILL hit you again. Period. I'm so very proud of Jenna for getting out before it was too late. She has a heart of courage that most victims do not. Most victims actually continue to stay with their abuser and make excuses for why they are being abused. Remember- abuse can be emotional, verbal, or physical. All are as equally devastating and dangerous.
I have committed to matching Mary Kay by putting $1 of my profit from any lip gloss sold until September 15, and making a donation to The Mary Kay Foundation. I have also decided to take it a step farther and take monetary donations for those who would prefer to not buy any makeup or skin care products, but still feel inclined to help make a difference. I will also ask from now until September 15th, with every order that I receive, how much you would like to be donated to TMKF. Mmmmmmk, let's think about this. I'm not working and receive VERY little from week to week. Bills are always overdue and the good Lord always provides. I tithe my disability check even though some say I don't need to because I'm out of a job, but I feel it's what God wants from me. He will worry about the rest. Now I'm stepping out on faith again- I'm giving control to God with my finances and you can help to determine how much of a difference we make for this cause. Truly, my heart wants nothing more than to be the #1 giver to this foundation. God will provide. He always has. But I want everyone to know that if I can give up some money that many would argue should be going other places, then YOU CAN TOO.
Put your money where your lip gloss is, ladies. Who knows when your dollar will be the one that gets a woman OUT. Your dollar will help her regain her life instead of a coffin. Let's all take a step out in faith and make a difference. I'm committing….will you?
www.marykay.com/echinlund or dukethedane@gmail.com
Statistics are hard to get regarding how many women, children, and even men are in abusive relationships in their very own homes. It's a secretive world of fear, anxiety, depression, and anger. According to the National Census of Domestic Violence Services, 67,399 victims were reported on September 15, 2011….ONE DAY! Almost 70, 000 incidents! Who knows how many of those ended in death, or worse, how many of those victims went back to their abuser. That's where you can help make a difference. That's where you can help save lives.
This is a subject near and dear to my heart. A wonderful friend of mine, we'll call her Jenna, was in an abusive relationship for a couple of years. She came close to dying on an occasion or two because of the forceful nature of the abuse. The abuse was ALWAYS (and this is a typical response from abusers) followed by tears from her spouse and how he would never do it again. Ladies- if he hits you once, he WILL hit you again. Period. I'm so very proud of Jenna for getting out before it was too late. She has a heart of courage that most victims do not. Most victims actually continue to stay with their abuser and make excuses for why they are being abused. Remember- abuse can be emotional, verbal, or physical. All are as equally devastating and dangerous.
I have committed to matching Mary Kay by putting $1 of my profit from any lip gloss sold until September 15, and making a donation to The Mary Kay Foundation. I have also decided to take it a step farther and take monetary donations for those who would prefer to not buy any makeup or skin care products, but still feel inclined to help make a difference. I will also ask from now until September 15th, with every order that I receive, how much you would like to be donated to TMKF. Mmmmmmk, let's think about this. I'm not working and receive VERY little from week to week. Bills are always overdue and the good Lord always provides. I tithe my disability check even though some say I don't need to because I'm out of a job, but I feel it's what God wants from me. He will worry about the rest. Now I'm stepping out on faith again- I'm giving control to God with my finances and you can help to determine how much of a difference we make for this cause. Truly, my heart wants nothing more than to be the #1 giver to this foundation. God will provide. He always has. But I want everyone to know that if I can give up some money that many would argue should be going other places, then YOU CAN TOO.
Put your money where your lip gloss is, ladies. Who knows when your dollar will be the one that gets a woman OUT. Your dollar will help her regain her life instead of a coffin. Let's all take a step out in faith and make a difference. I'm committing….will you?
www.marykay.com/echinlund or dukethedane@gmail.com
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Another late night/early morning post..
WHY in the world am I up at 4:57 am?! Even with all my meds AND extra phenergan on board for nausea, I'm STILL awake. Was it the crazy amount of Salt and Vinegar popcorn mixed with Sweet Dill popcorn from the Popcorn Fanatic that I ate? Or maybe those Junior mints at the movie theatre…..Hm. Can't blame Diet Dew because we are now stocking caffeine free ones just for bedtime, plus I've been drinking water like a camel. Remember that crazy amount of popcorn? Imagine the sodium plus water retention on a 98lb girl. Basically I looked like I was 6 months pregnant (yes- I did pooch out in the picture for giggles sake), but thankfully I've peed my way back to a good 16 weeks or so. Hoping to be unfertilized by morning…or whenever I wake up/go to sleep/whichever comes quickest.
Today (I'm speaking as if it's still Monday, k? Thanks.) was a big day for me and my village of supporters. After MONTHS of battling with insurance not agreeing to pay for my surgery, my doc wanting a spinal fusion when it seems like a million were going with a vertebroplasty, and then the vertebroplasty doc saying "HECK NO"- we finally arrived at August 27th. Today was the day that a little over a month ago I was told was my only chance at overturning all my denials from my insurance company- but I would have to get an agreeing opinion with my primary neurosurgeon. It seemed like forever, but it really wasn't. It's the waiting that gets you…we had been bombarded for MONTHS with new information every day it seemed like, so having 6 weeks to wait for an appointment seemed ridiculous. When really, I made myself busy and a productive member of society over the past month or so and I've quite enjoyed it.
Anyway- HOORAY! The surgeon agreed with my surgeon! He took a look at my MRI and films and gave me a thorough exam and definitely thinks long-term internal stabilization of my spine (aka a spinal fusion) would dramatically decrease my pain. He showed me all the things I already knew….my crazy looking, wedge shaped vertebra. My herniating disc that really isn't there any more. The crumbling top corner of the wedge. But he also showed what could possibly be a torn ligament or some type of soft tissue damage right at the level of L1. Basically, the pain could be from all of the above. Since external braces atrophy your core muscles long-term (yup- know all about it), he thinks fusion as well. For kicks and giggles, Trav asked him sarcastically, "So would you have ever recommended a vertebroplasty?" since that was the alternative remedy every other surgeon suggested. He said, "If you were a month out- yeah. But a year and a half, no way! It wouldn't do a darn thing for you even IF you could get cement in there." Thank the dear Lord above for someone else with common sense. To make those disagreeing docs feel better, he didn't COMPLETELY diss you. He just said you were scared to take the more invasive route, but I simply am not a candidate….I could have told you that 6 months ago, but nooooo- no one listen to the patient or her neurosurgeon.
So let the celebration ensue!?!?!? Not yet folks- we still have to see if this opinion actually IS enough to overturn my MANY appeals and see if insurance will cover the surgery. The appeal process is extremely stressful and it's what I dealt with every.single.day this summer that truly put me into one of the worst depressions of my life. Thank goodness the good Lord brought me out of that dark place and I am now happy and 90% worry-free! I know it should be 100%, but I'm not perfect…so sue me. But what's great is that I have a true peace about this opinion. All the other times I had this sense of dread while others celebrated simply because by now, I've learned not to get my hopes up. This time, I'm just not worried about what the answer will be.
Now don't get me wrong- I WANT this surgery. I WANT to go back to living a NORMAL and extremely ACTIVE life. But I've also come to find great peace in letting God have the reins and just "being". We don't know whether I'll be in a hospital bed in a month or still at this very spot, but I do know that timing is never a coincidence. This whole thing has been on the Lord's watch and I am so very grateful for His perfect timing…For example: Travis is out of school and the MCAT is over. He is free for the next year! For the first time since we got married, Trav and I are getting to spend entire days together and enjoy each other again, just like when we were dating. I also was able to find a FABULOUS home church and started serving on only my third week there. I wouldn't have been going to Journey Church if I had already had my spinal fusion and "life" had picked back up. There are just so many blessings that have been poured out to us during this time of waiting. It was hard- I won't lie. I tell everyone how I stayed in bed for DAYS, and cried for what seemed like weeks on end. I also remember crying out to God, "Oh God, why have you forsaken me!?!?"….He never left me. I was in His hand all along and He showed me that it's the safest place for me. Can I get an "Amen" for God's perfect timing?!
Now speaking of God's perfect timing- honestly- I was halfway expecting to not get my surgery in time to go back to work before my medical leave runs out. With this news, best case scenario is that I get my surgery ASAP and can take plenty of time to fully recover before returning to work. Honestly, while I'm PUMPED about getting back to being active, I've actually ENJOYED seeing all the things God has created for me and put visions in my heart about. I just thought that I would accomplish them before surgery, if there ever was a surgery. So I need to not change my vision, but just change the date to His…day by day. inch by inch. little by little. He has not forsaken me.
I honestly ALSO have to say that while I am still in a LOT of pain, I'm kind of used to it. It's a bummer and a total mood killer sometimes, but I kind of accepted it as a part of life and learned to keep going through it somehow. But it's time for a giant leap into getting me back once and for all…and that means having to yet again, humble myself and my body and allow for healing to take place. After being so active and on lower amounts of pain meds, I am not looking forward to being laid up again OR the meds that make me amusing to strangers. I'll need to hire someone to make all my MK referral calls for me so customers won't think a drunkard is trying to give them a free facial. Last time, I was sideswiped and put in bed for a month with a devastating diagnosis, regardless of my ability to feel and walk. It was mentally and emotionally devastating. It changed me to my core. This experience has also. I'm starting now, and I'd appreciate you all to do the same, to pray for God to speak to me in INCREDIBLE ways when I'm down and out. Let it be a time where I'm FORCED to be still and rest, and learn from my Healer! He has rained down His storehouses upon us with blessing after blessing, even if we have to balance our checkbook before going to Chickfila. Travis and I just feel so rich in LOVE, and in favor abounding! I gladly tithe my disability check….God is good and He has provided and will continually do so. Glory.
What is to come: First we should know by the end of the week if insurance will approve the surgery or not. If so, we will schedule surgery ASAP which all depends on OR and surgeon availability. If not, then we continue to wander down a path that only leads somewhere where we all end up fine. I will not be forsaken…I've been promised.
I know many people still question if I should just suck it up and deal with the pain and not go through such an invasive surgery so I'd like to reassure some of you with facts. First off- in the world of spinal fusions, this sucker is a cinch. It will be only to the vertebrae above and below my fracture, making it trilevel. It will also probably be done with screws and not rods (no, I won't go off in the airport security booth. Bummer I know.). So I will not lose a ton of my mobility. I also have been given hope of living a completely normal ACTIVE lifestyle afterwards and with a longer recovery period. I'll be able to start working in the PICU when I feel up to it, rather than running out of disability leave time. I'll be riding in 6-12 months, running, lifting weights and doing all the things I love to do and haven't been able to do. I'll be released to start jogging probably about the time that I should start training for Shut-In next year (since I've missed it these past two when I've wanted to enter), so Dad- you have to keep racing until I can be there to cross that finish line at the top of Mount Pisgah WITH you! I will also be able, barring the surgery is a success, to get off ALL prescribed pain meds and just take tylenol when needed. WOOHOO! How huge is that!?!?! And finally- I'm well informed and I trust my doctors. If you don't agree with me having surgery, that's okay. You have your own experiences that make you want to avoid them at all cost, but for me- this could give me my life back. Please don't take away my joy in that.
Oh vey- that was long. See- somewhere between the smiles and celebrations and worry and tears, there is a plan. And that plan is better than mine. Always has been and always will be. Let's rock and roll….
Today (I'm speaking as if it's still Monday, k? Thanks.) was a big day for me and my village of supporters. After MONTHS of battling with insurance not agreeing to pay for my surgery, my doc wanting a spinal fusion when it seems like a million were going with a vertebroplasty, and then the vertebroplasty doc saying "HECK NO"- we finally arrived at August 27th. Today was the day that a little over a month ago I was told was my only chance at overturning all my denials from my insurance company- but I would have to get an agreeing opinion with my primary neurosurgeon. It seemed like forever, but it really wasn't. It's the waiting that gets you…we had been bombarded for MONTHS with new information every day it seemed like, so having 6 weeks to wait for an appointment seemed ridiculous. When really, I made myself busy and a productive member of society over the past month or so and I've quite enjoyed it.
Anyway- HOORAY! The surgeon agreed with my surgeon! He took a look at my MRI and films and gave me a thorough exam and definitely thinks long-term internal stabilization of my spine (aka a spinal fusion) would dramatically decrease my pain. He showed me all the things I already knew….my crazy looking, wedge shaped vertebra. My herniating disc that really isn't there any more. The crumbling top corner of the wedge. But he also showed what could possibly be a torn ligament or some type of soft tissue damage right at the level of L1. Basically, the pain could be from all of the above. Since external braces atrophy your core muscles long-term (yup- know all about it), he thinks fusion as well. For kicks and giggles, Trav asked him sarcastically, "So would you have ever recommended a vertebroplasty?" since that was the alternative remedy every other surgeon suggested. He said, "If you were a month out- yeah. But a year and a half, no way! It wouldn't do a darn thing for you even IF you could get cement in there." Thank the dear Lord above for someone else with common sense. To make those disagreeing docs feel better, he didn't COMPLETELY diss you. He just said you were scared to take the more invasive route, but I simply am not a candidate….I could have told you that 6 months ago, but nooooo- no one listen to the patient or her neurosurgeon.
So let the celebration ensue!?!?!? Not yet folks- we still have to see if this opinion actually IS enough to overturn my MANY appeals and see if insurance will cover the surgery. The appeal process is extremely stressful and it's what I dealt with every.single.day this summer that truly put me into one of the worst depressions of my life. Thank goodness the good Lord brought me out of that dark place and I am now happy and 90% worry-free! I know it should be 100%, but I'm not perfect…so sue me. But what's great is that I have a true peace about this opinion. All the other times I had this sense of dread while others celebrated simply because by now, I've learned not to get my hopes up. This time, I'm just not worried about what the answer will be.
Now don't get me wrong- I WANT this surgery. I WANT to go back to living a NORMAL and extremely ACTIVE life. But I've also come to find great peace in letting God have the reins and just "being". We don't know whether I'll be in a hospital bed in a month or still at this very spot, but I do know that timing is never a coincidence. This whole thing has been on the Lord's watch and I am so very grateful for His perfect timing…For example: Travis is out of school and the MCAT is over. He is free for the next year! For the first time since we got married, Trav and I are getting to spend entire days together and enjoy each other again, just like when we were dating. I also was able to find a FABULOUS home church and started serving on only my third week there. I wouldn't have been going to Journey Church if I had already had my spinal fusion and "life" had picked back up. There are just so many blessings that have been poured out to us during this time of waiting. It was hard- I won't lie. I tell everyone how I stayed in bed for DAYS, and cried for what seemed like weeks on end. I also remember crying out to God, "Oh God, why have you forsaken me!?!?"….He never left me. I was in His hand all along and He showed me that it's the safest place for me. Can I get an "Amen" for God's perfect timing?!
Now speaking of God's perfect timing- honestly- I was halfway expecting to not get my surgery in time to go back to work before my medical leave runs out. With this news, best case scenario is that I get my surgery ASAP and can take plenty of time to fully recover before returning to work. Honestly, while I'm PUMPED about getting back to being active, I've actually ENJOYED seeing all the things God has created for me and put visions in my heart about. I just thought that I would accomplish them before surgery, if there ever was a surgery. So I need to not change my vision, but just change the date to His…day by day. inch by inch. little by little. He has not forsaken me.
I honestly ALSO have to say that while I am still in a LOT of pain, I'm kind of used to it. It's a bummer and a total mood killer sometimes, but I kind of accepted it as a part of life and learned to keep going through it somehow. But it's time for a giant leap into getting me back once and for all…and that means having to yet again, humble myself and my body and allow for healing to take place. After being so active and on lower amounts of pain meds, I am not looking forward to being laid up again OR the meds that make me amusing to strangers. I'll need to hire someone to make all my MK referral calls for me so customers won't think a drunkard is trying to give them a free facial. Last time, I was sideswiped and put in bed for a month with a devastating diagnosis, regardless of my ability to feel and walk. It was mentally and emotionally devastating. It changed me to my core. This experience has also. I'm starting now, and I'd appreciate you all to do the same, to pray for God to speak to me in INCREDIBLE ways when I'm down and out. Let it be a time where I'm FORCED to be still and rest, and learn from my Healer! He has rained down His storehouses upon us with blessing after blessing, even if we have to balance our checkbook before going to Chickfila. Travis and I just feel so rich in LOVE, and in favor abounding! I gladly tithe my disability check….God is good and He has provided and will continually do so. Glory.
What is to come: First we should know by the end of the week if insurance will approve the surgery or not. If so, we will schedule surgery ASAP which all depends on OR and surgeon availability. If not, then we continue to wander down a path that only leads somewhere where we all end up fine. I will not be forsaken…I've been promised.
I know many people still question if I should just suck it up and deal with the pain and not go through such an invasive surgery so I'd like to reassure some of you with facts. First off- in the world of spinal fusions, this sucker is a cinch. It will be only to the vertebrae above and below my fracture, making it trilevel. It will also probably be done with screws and not rods (no, I won't go off in the airport security booth. Bummer I know.). So I will not lose a ton of my mobility. I also have been given hope of living a completely normal ACTIVE lifestyle afterwards and with a longer recovery period. I'll be able to start working in the PICU when I feel up to it, rather than running out of disability leave time. I'll be riding in 6-12 months, running, lifting weights and doing all the things I love to do and haven't been able to do. I'll be released to start jogging probably about the time that I should start training for Shut-In next year (since I've missed it these past two when I've wanted to enter), so Dad- you have to keep racing until I can be there to cross that finish line at the top of Mount Pisgah WITH you! I will also be able, barring the surgery is a success, to get off ALL prescribed pain meds and just take tylenol when needed. WOOHOO! How huge is that!?!?! And finally- I'm well informed and I trust my doctors. If you don't agree with me having surgery, that's okay. You have your own experiences that make you want to avoid them at all cost, but for me- this could give me my life back. Please don't take away my joy in that.
Oh vey- that was long. See- somewhere between the smiles and celebrations and worry and tears, there is a plan. And that plan is better than mine. Always has been and always will be. Let's rock and roll….
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I admit it. I'm guilty. I was totally blog stalking my HS friend's fab blog when I saw this questionnaire. I thought to myself, "Eureka! What a brilliant idea!"…My inner conscious mind was really saying, "I haven't figured out how to not offend people with any of my other blog ideas so this looks like a good deterrent." And since my last two blogs were 25 things about me and then 25 things about Travo-bo-babo, this might be a good way to wrap up our self-absorbed blog posts and then finally get on to more important things in the world. But really, it's proven that people love talking about themselves and I am certainly no exception. Anyone who knows me, knows that. So keep calm and read on if you feel so inclined….
MINE
I Am…currently feeling under the weather with a sore throat, extreme fatigue, and malaise. Basically- I feel rotten on top of my normal feeling rotten.
I Want…a pair of Louboutins. ERRRMAHGERRRRD! I WILL one day have the Filo's…in black and nude. I don't need a lecture on how ridiculous the price is…I know. Let me want, okay?
I Have…THE best husband in the world! I know that every wife says that, but they're not married to Travis Young, thus, they speak lies when they say that phrase. No seriously, Travis really is the best. NO- he really is. There is no room for compromise on this one, folks.
I Wish…I had millions of dollars to give to the ASPCA commercials with the Sarah McLaughlin music in the background. I have to turn the channel every time because those eyes of the dogs and cats make me cry…okay- we need to stop talking about it now. sniff.
I Hate…satan. And how he torments people I love, including myself. I know that we have victory over him in Christ, but I can still admit that it sucks and some things are harder than quoting verses out loud. If it was 'easy', then every Christian everywhere would be SINLESS and there would be no need for what Jesus did for us on the cross. There is nothing 'easy' about grace and how we received it. Ask Jesus…He's the one that died for you.
I Fear…the unknown feeling of being happy with my body. Sad, I know. But if we were all honest, how many women would say that they love themselves and their body? Yeah- that's what I thought. I've never known that feeling either, thus, it's a little scary (actually, freaking TERRIFYING) to give up my pseudo-control and work on that. "Here Liz! Go eat this double cheeseburger and milkshake and fries!"….yeah right.
I Hear…the sweet sweet sound of our washing machine and dryer. I cannot do laundry because of all the bending and lifting it involves, thus, it falls on the shoulders of (let's say it in unison) "The Best Husband In The World". And he does it without complaint. You can say the phrase again if you like.
I Search…awesome steals and deals everywhere I go. Thou shalt never pay full price. It's my 11th commandment. And just like I definitely break some of the 10 commandments, I'll break this one when the 'oh-happy-day' comes where I can easily afford those red soles….the hallelujah chorus will also begin to play wherever I walk and everyone I pass will stand in reverence to the amazing shoes that just rocked their world by passing them by.
I Wonder…what God has in store for Travo and I. I know that it's something great and bigger than I could ever imagine, and I love to ponder what's to come. I CANNOT WAIT!
I Regret…letting people's opinions control so much of my life and my happiness.
I Love…that I have a stronger bond with my horse than many people who ride every single day. There's no doubt that Swayze knows I'm "his person" and in his own animalistic way, he gets "it".
I Ache…every. single. day. Hello vertebral fracture. Maybe I should have more sympathy for people with back pain since it's a part of my every day life, but really I don't. For some crazy reason, I believe that my pain supersedes theirs and they don't have room to complain. Wrong, I know- but I never said I was a perfect person.
I Always…worry and don't allow God to take away my anxiety. He even says, "Be anxious for nothing!" and what do I do? Yeah- I worry. I scratch my head until it bleeds because I worry so much. I'm pretty stinking sure that's not in His plan for me.
I Usually…cry when I'm angry and frustrated, not when I'm sad. Wait, no, I cry when I'm sad too…I'm just usually more angry and frustrated over things.
I Am Not…perfect, nor will I ever be. So why do we place such a high standard for people TO be perfect? Why do we expect perfect bodies, perfect lives, perfect jobs, perfect EVERYTHING when we know it's unattainable? The only perfect person to ever live died for us.
I Dance…in the car when I'm listening to my Glee station on Pandora. Don't hate.
I Sing…NEVER! Maybe at church…but seriously- small animals run for cover when I open my mouth in an attempt at harmony, or something of the sort.
I Never…want to think about the day that one of my pets or family members will go see Jesus. I change the subject quickly. Like now.
I Rarely…have a morning where I don't wake up to an ice cold Diet Mountain Dew. When Trav or I are lying in bed and we say, "Do me"…it really means, "Dew me" and please go get a diet dew because otherwise, I'll never wake up.
I Cry…didn't we already answer this?
I Am Not Always…happy. SHOCKER! I know. You would think from my crazy-high-pitched greetings and my typical stride being a skip, that I'm ALWAYS happy. Nope. Believe it or not, I'm human and have highs and lows. So sue me.
I Lose…all sense of reason when there is something sparkly and shiny. OOOH where!?!?!
I'm Confused…how anyone could possibly truly believe what the republican candidates stand for. I'm all about agreeing to disagree for the protection of friendships, familial relationships, and even from relationships and conversation going sour- HOWEVER, in my mind I think you're an idiot. Just saying.
I Need…to become a director with Mary Kay and earn a pink cadillac so that Trav can be my "Caddy Daddy" ;)
I Should…really stop writing blogs. I could be so much more productive with something that actually makes a difference if I didn't type these things and think people actually cared. I read some blogs and say, "Why do they think anyone wants to even read this crap?"….yeah- well I know the same is true for this one.
HIS
(Trav's original version was not PG rated and revolved around special moments between a wife and her husband. Now on to round 2.)
I Am…amazing. Everything my wife said about me- true.
I Want…to catch every fish in the stream. And on those rare occasions where I catch no fish, it is a sad day. A sad day indeed.
I Have…a booger. No wait- I have….I have…a fragile and sensitive, big ass dog. He'll eat you. For real.
I Wish…I was clever enough to think of a joke right now, but nothing. So I wish everyone would know about Jesus. Good enough.
I Hate…the MCAT. It is a god-awful test designed by the devil to devour the souls of innocent pre-med students who simply want to do good in the world. Seriously, the MCAT needs to die a slow, painful, tortuous, death…it should take the MCAT the same amount of time to be killed as I spent studying for it. Stupid MCAT.
I Fear…the MCAT no mo!
I Hear…I don't hear anything. Am I deaf?
I Search…for fish. We've been over this. I love catching fish.
I Wonder…if there's a bigger fish in the next hole down the stream.
I Regret…the stupid fish that got off. I swear he was the biggest fish you've ever seen. He might have been able to eat Duke.
I Love…my beautiful, wonderful, amazing wife. (Liz: I didn't put him up to that, folks!)
I Ache…every morning when I wake up. Should it physically hurt to wake up in the mornings? That's why I put it off to the afternoon whenever possible.
I Always…shake it twice. Three times and you're playing with yourself. (Liz: ughhhhhhhh.Trav!)
I Usually…don't take anything seriously. Like this list.
I Am Not…afraid of the gospel Lord! The power, Your love to save my soul now I'm alive in You. It's a song B.T.Dubs.
I Dance…I really don't. But on the off chance you did see me, it's probably a slow song.
I Sing…in the shower. Rub a dub dub in da tub.
I Never…fart underneath the covers and hold my wife's head under while I laugh hysterically. It's never happened. Ever. (Liz: BOLD FACE LIE!!!!!)
I Rarely…shart. It has happened on a few occasions, hence rarely. However, when I do shart, it's in front of a room full of people and on the floor with a 5 pound Yorkie lapping it up. Wear underwear. You let me down.
I Cry…at the end of every summer when watermelons are gone. It's a sad day.
I Am Not Always…serious. Obviously.
I Lose…control when I see my wife's rocking body. (Liz: What do you want? Why are you sucking up?)
I'm Confused….never. I'm a genius. Norman Einstein has nothing on me.
I Need…cookie cake. My achilles heel of fitness.
I Should…stop doing this list and go get cookie cake. Or fish. But it's midnight, so cookie cake it is.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
25 Things About Travo!
Mwahahahahaha- when the husband is away, the wife plays!…on the blog that is. As a follow-up to my post last night, I will now do 25 things about my hubster. Surprise, Travis!!
1. Travis played on the U-16 US National Soccer team, traveling all around Europe to play. He also was a Division 1 NCAA athlete and has numerous accolades for his amazing talent. Basically- he's ridiculously good at soccer and when he joins an adult league, they will realize that he's out of THEIR league.
2. Travis likes to take showers with all the doors closed in our tiny bathroom and no fan on. He wants it to be like a sauna. Not only that, but he's in there A MINIMUM of 30 minutes…I hate steam rooms and long showers. Doesn't work out too well.
3. Even though he has a bachelors degree in business, the Lord told him to be a doctor and so we've stepped out in faith and he's currently applying for next year! Join us in prayer for him to get into Wake…
4. You know how people say there is no such thing as love at first sight? Well then they obviously have never heard the story of how Travis and I met. We both knew within our first meeting that God was telling us that we were sitting next to our future spouse.
5. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life! Travis is an ultra-fine catch! Sometimes I look at him when he's sleeping or studying and say, "How in the world did this handsome man want ME?!?!?"
6. Travis is AMAZING around children. Secretly, we're both excited about one day in the far future having kids. Not a secret anymore I guess.
7. He is a man of integrity! He was asked to go to a strip club for a bachelor party and immediately declined because he simply does not believe in it. He also doesn't want to disrespect me. Love him.
8. Fly fishing is his outlet and his peaceful "Travis" time…he often takes Duke up to a great creek and the two boys spend the day together. I'm a wife that never says he can't go….he is WELCOME to go fishing whenever he wants!
9. He is not afraid to point out where and when I'm falling short of my calling from God…He's not afraid to hurt my superficial feelings, but in turn- he speaks LIFE into my life.
10. In family photos, you can't miss Trav. He looks EXACTLY the same as he did when he was 7! Even down to the six pack abs….Thank you Pam Young for giving him your genes.
11. When I was on bed rest after I broke my back, this man was in school full time AND working 40 hours a week. During the 8 hours he should have been sleeping, he was waking up to give me meds, carry me to the toilet and bathe me. He serves me endlessly…
12. Travo is the cook in the marriage. I can't follow a recipe to save my life- but Trav, he has the natural ability to make up DELISH dishes with pure imagination. The charcoal legit grill I got him several years ago was the best Christmas present ever…it just keeps giving and giving and giving :)
13. Travis hates sleeping underneath a sheet so he folds it over onto my side so he can just be under the comforter. It makes me sad when I try to find him and get all wrapped up in the sheet.
14. The Lord has supernaturally blessed Travis with the gifts of discernment and He truly has healing hands. He LOVES lay hands on people and praying for them….he's seen lives healed and hearts mended. I have no doubt God will stand in front of Travis and say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant".
15. While he grew up in an EXTREMELY conservative household, I have turned him into a democrat. We're actually personally moderate but socially democratic. I'm super lucky to have a husband that agrees with my political beliefs.
16. My mom once told her friends when they were asking about my 'new boyfriend', "Well, it's kind of bad when your boyfriend is cuter than you". He totally is. YUM!
17. He totally supports me in everything I do. With MK, he gives me high fives every day! With Swayze, he wants nothing more than to get me back riding. With most everything- he supports me!
18. He once had to tell his family, "Liz is my wife. 10 times out of 10, I WILL choose her over you." Talk about a faithful man…it encouraged me and made me feel loved.
20. He's not afraid to hurt my feelings, especially when I'm doing something bitchy. Instead of joining in, he calls me out on it. Big fat piece of humble pie.
21. Travis is good at EVERY SINGLE THING he does…soooooo not fair.
22. Let's face it. It takes someone very special to put up with me every single day. It's just a fact.
23. Trav is self-taught on acoustic guitar and his music that he's written himself will put me to sleep. I hope that our household is always full of his music.
24. He's quiet when you first meet him, but he'll win anyone over with time. The man has a heart of gold and a heart for God. People are naturally attracted to him because of his peaceful and joyful demeanor.
25. We don't care that (God willing) we have 5 more years before he graduates med school (gotta get in first!) and another 3-5 for residency. God told him he would be a doctor and that he will be. Life is too short to not do something you love. As for Travis, he loves God and loves people- what a great match!
I could write a hundred more. Travis- I love you. You're my soulmate and I can't wait to be 90 years old, rocking on our wrap around porch looking over acres of pastures and horses. Oh- and with a trout stream nearby. We might be broke and our future may be up in the air, but our marriage has never been better nor stronger and it has ALL to do with my incredible husband!
1. Travis played on the U-16 US National Soccer team, traveling all around Europe to play. He also was a Division 1 NCAA athlete and has numerous accolades for his amazing talent. Basically- he's ridiculously good at soccer and when he joins an adult league, they will realize that he's out of THEIR league.
2. Travis likes to take showers with all the doors closed in our tiny bathroom and no fan on. He wants it to be like a sauna. Not only that, but he's in there A MINIMUM of 30 minutes…I hate steam rooms and long showers. Doesn't work out too well.
3. Even though he has a bachelors degree in business, the Lord told him to be a doctor and so we've stepped out in faith and he's currently applying for next year! Join us in prayer for him to get into Wake…
4. You know how people say there is no such thing as love at first sight? Well then they obviously have never heard the story of how Travis and I met. We both knew within our first meeting that God was telling us that we were sitting next to our future spouse.
5. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life! Travis is an ultra-fine catch! Sometimes I look at him when he's sleeping or studying and say, "How in the world did this handsome man want ME?!?!?"
6. Travis is AMAZING around children. Secretly, we're both excited about one day in the far future having kids. Not a secret anymore I guess.
7. He is a man of integrity! He was asked to go to a strip club for a bachelor party and immediately declined because he simply does not believe in it. He also doesn't want to disrespect me. Love him.
8. Fly fishing is his outlet and his peaceful "Travis" time…he often takes Duke up to a great creek and the two boys spend the day together. I'm a wife that never says he can't go….he is WELCOME to go fishing whenever he wants!
9. He is not afraid to point out where and when I'm falling short of my calling from God…He's not afraid to hurt my superficial feelings, but in turn- he speaks LIFE into my life.
10. In family photos, you can't miss Trav. He looks EXACTLY the same as he did when he was 7! Even down to the six pack abs….Thank you Pam Young for giving him your genes.
11. When I was on bed rest after I broke my back, this man was in school full time AND working 40 hours a week. During the 8 hours he should have been sleeping, he was waking up to give me meds, carry me to the toilet and bathe me. He serves me endlessly…
12. Travo is the cook in the marriage. I can't follow a recipe to save my life- but Trav, he has the natural ability to make up DELISH dishes with pure imagination. The charcoal legit grill I got him several years ago was the best Christmas present ever…it just keeps giving and giving and giving :)
13. Travis hates sleeping underneath a sheet so he folds it over onto my side so he can just be under the comforter. It makes me sad when I try to find him and get all wrapped up in the sheet.
14. The Lord has supernaturally blessed Travis with the gifts of discernment and He truly has healing hands. He LOVES lay hands on people and praying for them….he's seen lives healed and hearts mended. I have no doubt God will stand in front of Travis and say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant".
15. While he grew up in an EXTREMELY conservative household, I have turned him into a democrat. We're actually personally moderate but socially democratic. I'm super lucky to have a husband that agrees with my political beliefs.
16. My mom once told her friends when they were asking about my 'new boyfriend', "Well, it's kind of bad when your boyfriend is cuter than you". He totally is. YUM!
17. He totally supports me in everything I do. With MK, he gives me high fives every day! With Swayze, he wants nothing more than to get me back riding. With most everything- he supports me!
18. He once had to tell his family, "Liz is my wife. 10 times out of 10, I WILL choose her over you." Talk about a faithful man…it encouraged me and made me feel loved.
20. He's not afraid to hurt my feelings, especially when I'm doing something bitchy. Instead of joining in, he calls me out on it. Big fat piece of humble pie.
21. Travis is good at EVERY SINGLE THING he does…soooooo not fair.
22. Let's face it. It takes someone very special to put up with me every single day. It's just a fact.
23. Trav is self-taught on acoustic guitar and his music that he's written himself will put me to sleep. I hope that our household is always full of his music.
24. He's quiet when you first meet him, but he'll win anyone over with time. The man has a heart of gold and a heart for God. People are naturally attracted to him because of his peaceful and joyful demeanor.
25. We don't care that (God willing) we have 5 more years before he graduates med school (gotta get in first!) and another 3-5 for residency. God told him he would be a doctor and that he will be. Life is too short to not do something you love. As for Travis, he loves God and loves people- what a great match!
I could write a hundred more. Travis- I love you. You're my soulmate and I can't wait to be 90 years old, rocking on our wrap around porch looking over acres of pastures and horses. Oh- and with a trout stream nearby. We might be broke and our future may be up in the air, but our marriage has never been better nor stronger and it has ALL to do with my incredible husband!
Friday, August 17, 2012
I only wrote this to end my dry spell...
There are potentially between 20 and 445 billion topics that I've been rolling around in my mind to blog about. I can talk to myself so eloquently in the car and think, "Hey- that would sound GREAT on my blog", but does it ever make it on this sucker- NOPE! Sure doesn't!
Sometimes I'm just NOT in a deep-thinking mood, nor do I want to write something profound. Sometimes I just want to dance and jump up and down (bad idea with a fractured vertebra) and act a little ADD…So this is going to be exactly that; OPPOSITE of profound. It's going to be self-centered and narcissistic, but who knows- maybe someone finds my life interesting and will actually read this. I'm doing the oh-so-very-NOT-original 25 Facts about yourself. I hope you learn something…
1. Travis and I buy cookie cakes like their going out of style. We always look for the ones with the most icing. I cannot tell you how many we've bought with "Happy Birthday!" or "It's a BOY!" written on them with icing.
2. I'm a real SNOB when it comes to certain things- like jeans for instance. I WILL not, let me repeat, WILL NOT buy jeans that are not a well known brand or designer. (I do have one pair of jean leggings from Express- but that's different).
3. I have somewhere around 12 pairs of designer denim ranging in size from super tiny 00 (23 Euro) up to 27 (US size 2-4). I refuse to get rid of any of them even though I don't want to fit back into my larger ones.
4. I NEVER buy ANYTHING full price. TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Consignment shops…that's it. When I get asked to go the mall, I say, "WHY!!!?" You can find just as good of things at those shops and sometimes better. Hello- I bought a pair of Tory Burch flats for $11 one time…this system works.
5. I'm officially playing with lip color other than a neutral gloss. Travis hates it, but I love it. Life is too short to not feel anything but fabulous…and trust me- fun lipgloss color radiates confidence!
6. My biggest compliment I've ever received was from a friend FROM Wales who tells me I look just like Kate Middleton…I've been told that a few times and I'm flushed with excitement when they say it, but when a REAL LIVE Brit tells you that- it made me even more obsessed with the Duchess.
7. SPEAKING OF the Duchess of Cambridge- I chose dresses and outfits based on whether or not it's a "Kate" outfit or a "Pippa" outfit.
8. I totally and purposefully "Pippa'd" someone at their own wedding. It's new lingo for stealing away the show from the bride. Slap my wrist I know…I didn't want to be there anyway so might as well.
9. I'm obsessed with the Daily Mail website out of the UK…all the up to date tabloid gossip and with more pictures than a magazine will give you. It's how I get all my trashy drama AS WELL as random knowledge.
10. I can eat an entire watermelon in one sitting. I weighed myself before and after one time. I gained over 6 pounds after the watermelon and then lost it by the morning. Too bad I was up every hour having to pee….
11. I have ridiculously strong feet and toes. I can take Trav's finger in my toes and he can't get it out now matter how hard he tries. I even flew a toy helicopter with my toes before and completed a perfect landing.
12. I have scheduled nap time when I'm out of work or it's a day off. My mother instilled an everyday nap time in me from an early age and I still take advantage of it.
13. I.HATE.COFFEE.
14. I love my husband dearly, but I still sleep with two stuffed animals. One is Keith, my monkey I received while I was in the hospital…he looks so worn out that people think it was a childhood toy- no, I got it a year and half ago. My other is from birth…a dog that only has one eye (thus his name One Eye) and has had several of his limbs reattached multiple times.
15. My marriage is ROCKIN!!! I'm convinced that I have the most handsome, kind, Godly, smart, amazing man in the world…I genuinely feel sorry for all the girls that lost out on him because of me. Actually, no I don't. Sucks for you.
16. I don't think you can every have too many coats/jackets/blazers or shoes. You just can't.
17. My first commission check as a Red Jacket, DIQ, or Director in MK will be going towards a pair of classic closed-toe Louboutins. Actually, two pairs. Same style- just one in black and one in nude. The red soul makes me hyperventilate.
18. I'm a liberal hippie…get over it. And if you say hurtful mean things about ANY person in office, I will defriend you in a heartbeat. It IS possible peacefully agree to disagree.
19. Because of my back, I can't bend even slightly or my back will go out. So lucky Trav- he has to do the dishes AND laundry AND vacuuming…now is that a great husband or what!?!
20. My jewelry collection would put Charming Charlie's to shame. Most of them are costume jewelry handed down from my Grandmother and my great Aunt, and since I love to wear gaudy jewelry, it works out perfectly.
21. I love living with Trav behind my parents. It's nice to have them around and believe it or not, I really miss them when they go out of town. It has its pro's and con's, but overall- it's been a HUGE blessing and fantastic set up.
22. I will not, never ever never, sell Swayze. Period. The end. He's not a pet- he's family and we don't ever get rid of family.
23. I have never had a male OR female beat me in having the loudest and strongest burp. Should I be proud of that? Hmmmmm…
24. I am HIGHLY competitive and motivated by a challenge. If someone says I can't do something- I will work on it until I can. As my mom recently told me, "You don't have anything to worry about. You always manage to get your way someway, somehow". I do whatever it takes to prove my haters wrong.
25. Call me old school- but I completely believe in submitting to your husband. If he is acting towards you like Christ loved the church, you (as a wife) will find yourself wanting to serve him. I never have to wonder where Trav's heart is- He loves God more than He loves me and that's the way it should be. Because of that, I happily serve and submit to his Godly wisdom.
26: Extra Credit: I could make friends with a brick. I've never met a stranger and will typically alarm people with my high energy and enthusiasm. I also tend to hit some high octaves when I get excited.
There you go- fun things about me. I'm not ashamed of who I am and you shouldn't be either! STAND UP for how AMAZING you are! Until next time, xoxo.
Sometimes I'm just NOT in a deep-thinking mood, nor do I want to write something profound. Sometimes I just want to dance and jump up and down (bad idea with a fractured vertebra) and act a little ADD…So this is going to be exactly that; OPPOSITE of profound. It's going to be self-centered and narcissistic, but who knows- maybe someone finds my life interesting and will actually read this. I'm doing the oh-so-very-NOT-original 25 Facts about yourself. I hope you learn something…
1. Travis and I buy cookie cakes like their going out of style. We always look for the ones with the most icing. I cannot tell you how many we've bought with "Happy Birthday!" or "It's a BOY!" written on them with icing.
2. I'm a real SNOB when it comes to certain things- like jeans for instance. I WILL not, let me repeat, WILL NOT buy jeans that are not a well known brand or designer. (I do have one pair of jean leggings from Express- but that's different).
3. I have somewhere around 12 pairs of designer denim ranging in size from super tiny 00 (23 Euro) up to 27 (US size 2-4). I refuse to get rid of any of them even though I don't want to fit back into my larger ones.
4. I NEVER buy ANYTHING full price. TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Consignment shops…that's it. When I get asked to go the mall, I say, "WHY!!!?" You can find just as good of things at those shops and sometimes better. Hello- I bought a pair of Tory Burch flats for $11 one time…this system works.
5. I'm officially playing with lip color other than a neutral gloss. Travis hates it, but I love it. Life is too short to not feel anything but fabulous…and trust me- fun lipgloss color radiates confidence!
6. My biggest compliment I've ever received was from a friend FROM Wales who tells me I look just like Kate Middleton…I've been told that a few times and I'm flushed with excitement when they say it, but when a REAL LIVE Brit tells you that- it made me even more obsessed with the Duchess.
7. SPEAKING OF the Duchess of Cambridge- I chose dresses and outfits based on whether or not it's a "Kate" outfit or a "Pippa" outfit.
8. I totally and purposefully "Pippa'd" someone at their own wedding. It's new lingo for stealing away the show from the bride. Slap my wrist I know…I didn't want to be there anyway so might as well.
9. I'm obsessed with the Daily Mail website out of the UK…all the up to date tabloid gossip and with more pictures than a magazine will give you. It's how I get all my trashy drama AS WELL as random knowledge.
10. I can eat an entire watermelon in one sitting. I weighed myself before and after one time. I gained over 6 pounds after the watermelon and then lost it by the morning. Too bad I was up every hour having to pee….
11. I have ridiculously strong feet and toes. I can take Trav's finger in my toes and he can't get it out now matter how hard he tries. I even flew a toy helicopter with my toes before and completed a perfect landing.
12. I have scheduled nap time when I'm out of work or it's a day off. My mother instilled an everyday nap time in me from an early age and I still take advantage of it.
13. I.HATE.COFFEE.
14. I love my husband dearly, but I still sleep with two stuffed animals. One is Keith, my monkey I received while I was in the hospital…he looks so worn out that people think it was a childhood toy- no, I got it a year and half ago. My other is from birth…a dog that only has one eye (thus his name One Eye) and has had several of his limbs reattached multiple times.
15. My marriage is ROCKIN!!! I'm convinced that I have the most handsome, kind, Godly, smart, amazing man in the world…I genuinely feel sorry for all the girls that lost out on him because of me. Actually, no I don't. Sucks for you.
16. I don't think you can every have too many coats/jackets/blazers or shoes. You just can't.
17. My first commission check as a Red Jacket, DIQ, or Director in MK will be going towards a pair of classic closed-toe Louboutins. Actually, two pairs. Same style- just one in black and one in nude. The red soul makes me hyperventilate.
18. I'm a liberal hippie…get over it. And if you say hurtful mean things about ANY person in office, I will defriend you in a heartbeat. It IS possible peacefully agree to disagree.
19. Because of my back, I can't bend even slightly or my back will go out. So lucky Trav- he has to do the dishes AND laundry AND vacuuming…now is that a great husband or what!?!
20. My jewelry collection would put Charming Charlie's to shame. Most of them are costume jewelry handed down from my Grandmother and my great Aunt, and since I love to wear gaudy jewelry, it works out perfectly.
21. I love living with Trav behind my parents. It's nice to have them around and believe it or not, I really miss them when they go out of town. It has its pro's and con's, but overall- it's been a HUGE blessing and fantastic set up.
22. I will not, never ever never, sell Swayze. Period. The end. He's not a pet- he's family and we don't ever get rid of family.
23. I have never had a male OR female beat me in having the loudest and strongest burp. Should I be proud of that? Hmmmmm…
24. I am HIGHLY competitive and motivated by a challenge. If someone says I can't do something- I will work on it until I can. As my mom recently told me, "You don't have anything to worry about. You always manage to get your way someway, somehow". I do whatever it takes to prove my haters wrong.
25. Call me old school- but I completely believe in submitting to your husband. If he is acting towards you like Christ loved the church, you (as a wife) will find yourself wanting to serve him. I never have to wonder where Trav's heart is- He loves God more than He loves me and that's the way it should be. Because of that, I happily serve and submit to his Godly wisdom.
26: Extra Credit: I could make friends with a brick. I've never met a stranger and will typically alarm people with my high energy and enthusiasm. I also tend to hit some high octaves when I get excited.
There you go- fun things about me. I'm not ashamed of who I am and you shouldn't be either! STAND UP for how AMAZING you are! Until next time, xoxo.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I'm Baaaaaack!
This is going to be a little bit of a free flowing post…I have so many topics I WANT to write about (ex: forgiveness (haven't forgotten ya, Nancy!), marriage, friendship, etc), but the only things on my mind are these lyrics:
"Nothing's gonna hold me back. No, nothing's gonna hold me back! Nothing's gonna hold me back!
My chains fell off, my heart was free! I'm alive to live for you! I'm alive to live for you!! Amazing love, how can it be?! You give everything for me! You give everything for me….everything."- Holding Nothing Back by Tim Hughes (can watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i1JMkWTzq0 right here!)
My heart is REJOICING today! I have no other reason than I'm alive and I can see the beauty of Christ in my life! As Beth Moore would say…my heart feels like it will thump out of my chest. I'm truly living JOY!
I truly believe that for most of the time that I've been out of work and wading through all this insurance mess, I've felt pretty sorry for myself. I would go in and out of the saying, "Oh, I know God has a plan and it will all be fine", but my life did not show those words. I didn't say those words with JOY! Now I want to SHOUT- "MY INJURY AND DISABILITY HAS A PURPOSE ORDAINED BY THE LORD!!!! HE WILL RECEIVE GLORY!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!" I walk with more of a skip in my step, I'm less worried about the measly amount of money disability provides, and I'm just more JOYFUL….and it's because of a God who is merciful and GOOD. Always.
So what's the change huh? When did depresso Liz get back to her espresso self? (That was pretty good, wasn't it?) It's when I was reading one of my homework lessons for my bible study I'm a part of. We were reading the story when Peter and Saul are preaching in a town and get thrown into prison for ordering a demon out of a possessed girl. As they sat in prison (this must be where the saying, "good friends don't bail you out of jail, they're in there with you'' came from) they didn't mope about their situation. They had also be beaten the crap out of and I'm sure they were scared they could very possibly die in there. BUT! Instead of clambering in a corner, they start singing and praying! The other prisoners listened as Peter and Saul WORSHIPED and it became a time of true fellowship! God responded with a massive earthquake that crumbled the jail to pieces….instead of fleeing- like most would do if in that tough of a spot- they stayed! The jailer came running through the rubble screaming, "Where is everyone?!?!" and Peter said, "Don't worry! No one is gone! We're all still right here!". At that moment the jailer fell to his knees and asked Peter and Saul what he had to do to 'have what they have'…to know this Christ Jesus they spoke of. The next day, the jailer and his entire family were baptized and Peter and Saul were set free…..
Great story..but a story is only that unless you put it to application. For me, I saw it as- why am I struggling to get out of this prison?? Why am I so desperately trying to flee when I have NO IDEA what God has around the corner for me?!?!? What if He keeps me here 15 more years, but the Glory He receives from it changes the world?!? Instead of fleeing- let me PRAISE Him! He actually COMMANDS us to praise Him through trials for that is where He is made strong! It's where we can sing of His goodness and holiness for getting us through! Ever since then I've made a larger effort to truly rejoice in the Lord and my situation and not have so many ants in my pants because it's taking so long. One thing is FOR CERTAIN- God keeps His promises and I cannot wait for the day that my story might possibly be something that brings someone into His kingdom for eternity. What more could anyone ask for?
Isn't that what we want from our lives? Not just a part of our life, but our entire livelihoods? It's what I want from mine. I think the Sidewalk Prophets say it best in their song 'Live Like That'…I'll leave you with the lyrics and hopefully one day I will actually write a blog at a decent hour during the day ;)
"Sometimes I think what will people say of me when I'm only just a memory; When I'm home where my soul belongs.
Was I love when no one else would show up? Was I Jesus to the least of us? Was my worship more than just a song?
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You!
If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back. I want to live like that. I want to live like that!
Am I proof that You are who You say You are? That grace can really change a heart? Do I live like Your love is true?
People pass, and even if they don't know my name, is there evidence that I've been changed? When they see me do they see You?……
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You! If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back…I want to live like that!
I want to show the world the love You gave for me; I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King.
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You! If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back…I want to live like that!….I want to live like that…..I want to live like that."- Sidewalk Prophets
"Nothing's gonna hold me back. No, nothing's gonna hold me back! Nothing's gonna hold me back!
My chains fell off, my heart was free! I'm alive to live for you! I'm alive to live for you!! Amazing love, how can it be?! You give everything for me! You give everything for me….everything."- Holding Nothing Back by Tim Hughes (can watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i1JMkWTzq0 right here!)
My heart is REJOICING today! I have no other reason than I'm alive and I can see the beauty of Christ in my life! As Beth Moore would say…my heart feels like it will thump out of my chest. I'm truly living JOY!
I truly believe that for most of the time that I've been out of work and wading through all this insurance mess, I've felt pretty sorry for myself. I would go in and out of the saying, "Oh, I know God has a plan and it will all be fine", but my life did not show those words. I didn't say those words with JOY! Now I want to SHOUT- "MY INJURY AND DISABILITY HAS A PURPOSE ORDAINED BY THE LORD!!!! HE WILL RECEIVE GLORY!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!" I walk with more of a skip in my step, I'm less worried about the measly amount of money disability provides, and I'm just more JOYFUL….and it's because of a God who is merciful and GOOD. Always.
So what's the change huh? When did depresso Liz get back to her espresso self? (That was pretty good, wasn't it?) It's when I was reading one of my homework lessons for my bible study I'm a part of. We were reading the story when Peter and Saul are preaching in a town and get thrown into prison for ordering a demon out of a possessed girl. As they sat in prison (this must be where the saying, "good friends don't bail you out of jail, they're in there with you'' came from) they didn't mope about their situation. They had also be beaten the crap out of and I'm sure they were scared they could very possibly die in there. BUT! Instead of clambering in a corner, they start singing and praying! The other prisoners listened as Peter and Saul WORSHIPED and it became a time of true fellowship! God responded with a massive earthquake that crumbled the jail to pieces….instead of fleeing- like most would do if in that tough of a spot- they stayed! The jailer came running through the rubble screaming, "Where is everyone?!?!" and Peter said, "Don't worry! No one is gone! We're all still right here!". At that moment the jailer fell to his knees and asked Peter and Saul what he had to do to 'have what they have'…to know this Christ Jesus they spoke of. The next day, the jailer and his entire family were baptized and Peter and Saul were set free…..
Great story..but a story is only that unless you put it to application. For me, I saw it as- why am I struggling to get out of this prison?? Why am I so desperately trying to flee when I have NO IDEA what God has around the corner for me?!?!? What if He keeps me here 15 more years, but the Glory He receives from it changes the world?!? Instead of fleeing- let me PRAISE Him! He actually COMMANDS us to praise Him through trials for that is where He is made strong! It's where we can sing of His goodness and holiness for getting us through! Ever since then I've made a larger effort to truly rejoice in the Lord and my situation and not have so many ants in my pants because it's taking so long. One thing is FOR CERTAIN- God keeps His promises and I cannot wait for the day that my story might possibly be something that brings someone into His kingdom for eternity. What more could anyone ask for?
Isn't that what we want from our lives? Not just a part of our life, but our entire livelihoods? It's what I want from mine. I think the Sidewalk Prophets say it best in their song 'Live Like That'…I'll leave you with the lyrics and hopefully one day I will actually write a blog at a decent hour during the day ;)
"Sometimes I think what will people say of me when I'm only just a memory; When I'm home where my soul belongs.
Was I love when no one else would show up? Was I Jesus to the least of us? Was my worship more than just a song?
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You!
If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back. I want to live like that. I want to live like that!
Am I proof that You are who You say You are? That grace can really change a heart? Do I live like Your love is true?
People pass, and even if they don't know my name, is there evidence that I've been changed? When they see me do they see You?……
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You! If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back…I want to live like that!
I want to show the world the love You gave for me; I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King.
I want to LIVE LIKE THAT! And give it all I have so that everything I say and do points to You! If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand. Recklessly abandoned, never holding back…I want to live like that!….I want to live like that…..I want to live like that."- Sidewalk Prophets
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